The gnome at your door is not what you think!
He was a proud elven warrior, well-versed in poetry and lore, an excellent harpist descended from Lugh of the Silver Hand, his mother a promiscuous nymph.
When he witnessed the Industrial Revolution he shrunk in stature, fleeing to the fields to hide.
Years later he went to the Somme. It was then his heart turned to stone and broke clean in half. He was transfixed, unable to move, deformed.
How he arrived in our shops I don’t know. I pray that he doesn’t either.
Bow with respect as you pass.